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Dear Mama

Dear Mama,

 

There are so many

Versions

Of you

 

Each one

Serves a purpose

That only

God can author

 

Safe Mama’s…

We thank you

For the

Unconditional love

 

Your unwavering support

Provides the wings

We need

To grow

And become

Whole

 

No matter what

Comes our way

You are

Our rock

And stability

For every road

Traveled

 

Nurturing

Unmatched

You are

Our glue

 

Your very presence

And role

In our lives

Stirs our soul

 

Our every

Breath

Is proof of

Your job

Well done.

 

Absent Mama’s…

You were our

First life lesson

 

Our birthing

Happened

But rearing us

You decided,

Was not to be

Your task

 

Bonding

Never formed

 

This left a hole

So deep

A daily reminder

Of what never was

 

A lifelong

Of why?

That no verbal answer

Could ever

Satisfy.

 

Abusive Mama’s…

From the beginning

Be it

Emotional

Or Physical

Verbal or spiritual

Trails of confusion

You wrote

 

Our little brains

Weren’t ready

Couldn’t handle

The weight

Of all the trauma

You birthed

 

We salute you today

Not because

You are deserving

 

But your actions

Your words

Your total disregard

For the gift

Of life

That was in your hands

Paved the way

For Our Father’s

Introduction…

Divine Intervention

 

Because of Him,

We survived

YOU.

 

Angel Mama’s…

Your presence

Eternal.

Your heart

Missed.

 

Grateful for

The you

That was

The you

That still is

 

In our hearts

We weren’t prepared

For the

Gravity of the

Hole

Your absence

Caused

 

But today

We are grateful

For the connection

Birthed

And sustained

 

Even in

Your physical

Absence

Our love

Is a

Forever journey.

Irreplaceable,

You are.

 

Jesus

We thank you

For all

Of our

Mama Experiences

 

The ones

That are

That were

That weren’t.

And, those that

Are to be.

 

Happy

Mother’s Day,

Mama’s

We thank

You All

For carrying out

His Assignment.

 

 

Written with Love By:

Counselor Brandy


THE RESULTS OF JOURNALING

One of my 16 year old babies drew this. I am so honored by the parents that choose to share their babies with me. I asked her to journal her feelings. She said she opened her journal but could not write the words to express her feelings. So she took out her art paper and drew how she felt. I was FLOORED. If this isn’t expression and release, I don’t know what is! I am so proud of her. 

I added the feelings (words) to this drawing. Because again, she couldn’t find them. This drawing screams anguish, hurt, fear and anger. All turned inward. I’m going to focus on one definition here. 

Anguish: severe mental or physical pain or suffering; to be extremely distressed about something. (Oxford Dictionaries)

This baby did GOOD. I am so proud of her. Our kids have feelings. And we can’t dismiss them. The pain they carry will mold their lives. Getting them to a licensed counselor allows a trained professional to try alternative ways of expression and release when they can’t find their voice or words. 

Obviously I can’t mention the child’s name. But I can share this blog post with her so that she knows that while her voice is silent, her feelings are not only heard, but understood. 

What a gift this baby has. I’m grateful to her parents that chose to put her first by getting her the help she needs. 

How Did You Choose Your Practice Name?

I get asked this question a lot. I wanted to share some insight on how my practice name came to be. 

I was raised by my single mother. My mom was mentally, verbally, physically and spiritually abusive. My mom suffered from mental health issues that she still refuses to acknowledge today. Because of this, my childhood was chaotic. I spent most of it witnessing and experiencing the consequences of my mom’s behavior. My father didn’t raise me and my family treated me like I was everything but their own. So I often wondered who I belonged to. Whose daughter was I? Am I in the right family? That’s when God showed me that I am His Daughter and that He separated me for a reason. I didn’t belong to my parents or my family. I am His Daughter. That revelation saved my soul at a very young age. But the revelation also pushed me further away from my mom and my family. 

As I stated, at a very young age God took over my heart. He was my pillow, support and refuge in the midst of every storm endured. My mom was a Christian but later decided to become a muslim after meeting my sister’s father. My mom came home one day and told me that I could no longer worship Christ and that I too had to become a muslim. This shook me to my core. I knew this was the enemy at play and I refused. This further separated me from my mom. She went through great lengths to try to separate me from Christ. I was baptized as a baby but upon graduating college, I gave my life to Christ again. As a 21-year-old adult woman, I wanted his guidance and support as I started my life. As a final tactic to get me to turn my back on God, my mom said she would not attend my baptism. I still chose Christ and moved forward with my baptism. 

I shared my family experiences in my counseling program and my professors shared with me that I am a miracle. Statistically speaking, no matter the trauma endured, most kids end up like their family, desperately doing anything to fit in to feel loved. 

It is only by the strength of Christ, His guidance and His divine providence that I am where I am today. Without knowing that I am His Daughter, I would not have made it. That’s where my business name came from. When I couldn’t figure out whose I was because of constant rejection, God showed me that I am His and His alone.

Each and every one of us are His Daughter and Son. We belong to Christ. The gift of life is His and only His to give. It is by His spirit that healing is facilitated in my sessions. My clients are amazed by our sessions and attribute the greatness to me. NOPE. It’s all God. They receive such eye-opening awareness because God is at the wheel. I’m flesh. God afforded me the best training to reach others. But none of that matters without His Spirit.  God counsels our heart daily if we allow Him to do so. I am here for a reason. God wants His people and families to heal. Therefore, His Daughter Counseling The Heart, PLLC was born. And for that, I am most grateful! 

10 Reasons Why You Can’t Remain a Victim

You’ve been through hell and back trying to get over the trauma you experienced. It changed your life and stole your innocence. You’ve silenced yourself. You’ve tried to forget that it happened. Or you tell everyone that will listen that you are a victim of… You verbalize your victimization every chance you get as a cry for help. There’s a release in the telling. Even if it happened decades ago. We weren’t meant to keep silent about our pain. But it is our sole obligation to verbalize it correctly. You survived what you went through. Many would have lost their minds due to the inability to cope. You didn’t. It happened to you. But the trauma does not have the power to steal your life. You can and will heal. It starts with your words and what you proclaim. Here are 10 reasons why you have to graduate from the victim stage. There’s life in moving FORWARD. You are what you verbalize. And by all accounts, if you can read and understand this clearly, you are a SURVIVOR! Praise God!

1. It allows you to remain “stuck”. Mentally, physically and emotionally. Consistently claiming the “victim” title doesn’t allow you to see yourself as the SURVIVOR that you are.

2. There’s no healing in remaining a victim. You can’t change what happened to you BUT you can control how it effects your life moving forward.

3. Consistently identifying as a victim results in self-pity, depression and anxiety. On a deeper level, PTSD and somatic symptoms.

4. Remaining a victim evokes shame that isn’t yours to carry. You are not responsible for the trauma you endured.

5. It keeps you focused on the past. The act and the details surrounding the event.

6. It produces ruminating thoughts of should’ve, could’ve, would’ve.

7. It prolongs the “why me” phase of grieving.

8. It hinders the new you that the involuntary stretching produced.

9. It destroys your ability to receive and sustain relationships.

10. It hinders you from serving others with your testimony of SURVIVAL.

 

I’m rooting for you!

By His Strength,
Counselor Brandy

Brandy Porche, LPC, M.A., CAMS-I

Welcome to my practice. I look forward to serving you and your family. Thank you for being proactive in your healing journey and an advocate for yourself and those you love.

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